There are many big problems that accompany a sitting disability. Driving, air travel, and work are unpleasant, if not impossible. Self-isolation can be unavoidable. And the inability to sit can lead to other health problems.
The big issues are the ones I’m usually concerned about on this blog, and they are my top priorities for addressing. But I also have a new set of minor annoyances and pet peeves, which I catalog here.
1) Heavy Books
I like books, okay? And sometimes I like weird awkward ones that would work better as a coffee table than on a coffee table. Unfortunately, I have no way to read them.
I can access a great many books as ebooks or audiobooks. My kindle, computer, and phone are my prime reading companions.
These days, I can’t exactly curl up by the fire with a cup of tea and a good book. When I do read a physical book, I do it by lying down, and holding the book over my face. Certain books exhaust my arms, and make me worry about a black eye.
…I’m still frustrated that The Norton Anthology of English Literature is only available in paperback.
2) Coffee Mugs and Tea Cups
Getting back to that cozy image of a cup of tea by the fire, the tea part vexes me no end. I can’t lay down comfortably and drink a cup of tea. No, I have to decide between standing up for half an hour to enjoy my cup of Sleepytime tea, or, y’know, having actual sleepy time.
Getting a cup of coffee with someone else is distinctly less comfortable when you can’t sit down to enjoy it. Fortunately, many coffee shops have tall counters, which keeps me and my companion at the same level.
But my enjoyment of the meeting is always tempered by the ache in my feet and legs. Even if we’re having an interesting conversation, my sneaky mind keeps thinking: How much longer?
3) Bathtubs
I was never big into baths. I can count on one hand the number of times I took one as an adult. But then I moved into a house with a jacuzzi, and realized: I don’t even have the option.
Since I know I can’t sit in a bathtub, the desire to take a bath has gotten much stronger.
In the meantime, I use the jacuzzi to empty my mop bucket.
4) Meals that require two hands to eat.
I’ve long since stopped being embarrassed to stand in restaurants, and I refuse to avoid them just because I can’t sit down. However, that means that I’m usually stuck holding my plate in one hand, and my fork in the other.
Since I don’t have three hands, I’m confronted with a dilemma when I want to eat food that requires both a knife and fork.
Since I’m a vegetarian, at least I don’t have to deal with tough steaks or pork chops. But things like omelets, or lasagna, can be unnecessarily messy without the aid of a knife.
You know what my favorite utensils are? Chopsticks. As a general principle, any food you can eat with chopsticks is a good choice to eat standing up.
5) Loveseats
Even before I developed my sitting disability, I thought loveseats were an awkward compromise between a chair and a couch. They’re too heavy to move easily, and too short to lay down on.
Maybe they make sense in spaces that are too short for a proper couch, but I can’t imagine they’re anyone’s first choice.
Now that I have a sitting disability, I find loveseats utterly baffling. Their only possible use is as a space-intensive shelf.
6) Counters That Are Slightly Too Short
Even before I developed my sitting disability, a question nagged at me: Why are countertops always so short?
I can think of many kitchens (including my own) where I’ve been forced to hunch over awkwardly as I chopped carrots or sliced mushrooms. But I can’t remember a single kitchen where I thought, these counters are too high.
Now that I have a sitting disability, counters often double as tables and work surfaces, which makes the whole height discrepancy that much more annoying.
It wasn’t until a few years that I realized that this always-too-short height was intentional. I read an article that explained that starting in the 1930s, kitchens and countertops began to be standardized to fit the height of women.
Although the article implied that the standard 36” (91 cm) counters are an appropriate height for a 5’ 7” (170 cm) woman, they have always been too short for 5’ 8” (173 cm) me, which makes me wonder how exactly this supposedly correct height was calculated.
My mom, who is 5’ 4” (163 cm), finds standard counters to be about the right height.
I haven’t seen any evidence that men were considered when making these kitchen standards. I guess they’re just supposed to stay out of the kitchen? (Please, no one tell my husband!)
7) Uncomfortable Shoes
There was a time, long long ago, when I swore high heels were actually more comfortable than flats. There was a time when I cared about fashion when buying shoes.
To be fair, I still think low heels are more comfortable than ballet flats, flip-flops, and mules. But that says more about the atrocious lack of comfort in some flats than the amazing comfort of heels.
Once it was clear I’d be standing through every occasion, I made a pact with the world (though I didn’t consult the world first): If I have to stand, I get to wear comfortable shoes.
I don’t care if the occasion is Easter Sunday, or a birthday party, or a masquerade ball. I will be wearing my tennis shoes, even if they are covered with dirt and/or paint.
8) Video Calls
Look, I’m glad Zoom and Skype are becoming valid methods of communication. Video calls enable people to work from home, thereby avoiding driving and standing in an office all day. This is progress!
However – and this is embarrassing to admit – I don’t want to be on a video call. They’re either uncomfortable or embarrassing, depending.
I usually work from bed, but it hasn’t yet become acceptable to join video conferences lying down.
So instead, I have to fix my hair properly, and stand at my standing desk for the duration of the call. That wasted Zoom call time (Can everyone please mute themselves? What’s the weather like in New Mexico?) feels all the more painful when I’m stuck in an uncomfortable position. My conversation partner, meanwhile, is usually sitting contentedly behind a desk.
The one exception to this rule is video calls with other sitting-disabled people. We all know the deal. Call from bed if you want to.
9) Getting My Reflexes Tested
Yes, it is annoying that there are no couches in doctors’ waiting rooms. It is vexing that nurses expect you to sit down when they take your blood pressure, draw your blood, or give you a shot. But I am a stubborn soul, and I can usually argue my way into standing or lying down during these procedures.
However, even I can’t think of good way to let doctors check my reflexes without sitting down. And because doctors are so often interested in how my nerves are working, they want to do this a lot.
I make an effort, I really do. But usually, I sit rigidly at the edge of the exam table. My fear of cramps causes me to tense up to the point where I will not kick, even If the doctor whacks me in the knee with a real hammer
Strangely, my non-reflexes are never remarked on.
What small curses have plagued your sitting-disabled life? Let me know in the comments!
