{"id":366,"date":"2020-06-19T11:13:07","date_gmt":"2020-06-19T15:13:07","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/myuprightlife.com\/?p=366"},"modified":"2020-06-19T11:13:10","modified_gmt":"2020-06-19T15:13:10","slug":"id-rather-stand","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/myuprightlife.com\/index.php\/2020\/06\/19\/id-rather-stand\/","title":{"rendered":"No Thanks, I\u2019d Rather Stand. And Could I Opt Out of Civilization?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

I had a great uncle whose furniture selection made it clear how much he valued your company \u2013 he only had one chair.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The thing that often gets lost in the discussion of sitting disabilities is just how socially meaningful and culturally ingrained the act of sitting is. I started thinking about this yesterday, when I stumbled upon a 1979 meditation on chair design<\/a>. The whole piece caused me to cycle between deep thought and existential angst, in ways I\u2019m sure the author never imagined. This article pushed my buttons, and I wanted nothing more than to push back.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The First Furnishings<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Caplan asserted that, \u201cA chair is the first thing you need when you don’t really need anything.\u201d I wanted to pick a fight, until I remembered that Past Me had already proven him right.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When I sacrificed the use of my roommate\u2019s furniture and moved into my own New Jersey apartment, the first thing I bought was a couch. It wasn\u2019t entirely my choice \u2013 my Mom and aunt (not unreasonably) wanted a place to sit, and insisted I get at least one piece of furniture. Since they had driven across the country to help me move out of my fourth-floor walkup apartment in Brooklyn, it seemed like a fair concession.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When I bought my couch, the three of us tested the various angles and sitting positions, to make sure the high arms and back wouldn\u2019t be too obtrusive. I judged it good, without realizing how little sitting I would actually be doing in it. (At least I got my money\u2019s worth \u2013 I slept on it every night for years.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It seems my Mom wasn\u2019t the only one to demand a place to sit. This little story must have played out countless times, starting thousands of years before I was even born. Back when the ancient Mesopotamians were busy inventing civilization, some six thousand years ago, one of their first accomplishments was inventing chairs. Ancient Egyptians, Greeks, and Romans all used chairs, although the latter two had the good sense to recline during dinner parties<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"
Photo from Wikimedia Commons<\/a>.
This ancient statue shows a Mesopotamian goddess sitting on a stool. Which makes me wonder, which came first? Sculpture, religion, or chairs?<\/figcaption><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

In my apartment, the other chairs, which my family assumed I would eventually buy, never materialized. I had a mattress against a wall, which seemed far more practical for my purposes. To placate visitors, I kept a supply of fabric folding chairs in a closet. I could easily fold them up and set them aside when company left and they threatened to trip me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For a wedding present, my parents bought my husband and me a La-Z-Boy recliner. They bought it for him, really, no doubt out of sympathy for his longstanding (pun intended) chair deprivation. They chose well. Sitting in his chair with a beer in his hand, my husband is the very picture of contentment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I, on the other hand, have to contort myself around the other furniture to maintain some degree of comfort. I kneel on the floor in front of the coffee table for video calls. I pour my tea into travel mugs so I can drink it lying down. I Iean against a wall to catch the end of a TV show. To my eyes, chairs are just portable shelves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Other people\u2019s houses require their own set of adjustments. At my grandmother\u2019s house, the staircase leading to the basement is separated from the living room by a ledge. I\u2019ve taken to standing a few steps down so I can remain at the same level as the people seated in the living room. I\u2019ve been known to bring my own air mattress to friends\u2019 houses. I\u2019ve flopped around on couches that are too short, floors that are too hard, and futons that are the set at the wrong angle.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I have practically made love to pillars in public places, so determined was I to find some comfortable way to have them support my weight. I have tried resting in a deep squat, and determined the notion that anyone<\/em> finds this a comfortable resting position is a myth spread by communists. I will twist myself up in arm supports on trains, and reconfigure car seats so I can pretend I\u2019m competing in luge.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sit, Sit<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

And then, there\u2019s the social element of chairs, and sitting in them, and how that influences the dynamics of group interactions. Caplan clearly paid attention to those nuances. So have I, though in my case, I feel like Grendel<\/a> looking into Hrothgar\u2019s mead-hall.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Formal occasions, whether they are weddings or upscale business dinners, often involve a seating chart. Calling shotgun puts you in charge of both navigation and music. Sitting next to someone in the cafeteria is a declaration of your allegiance. An invitation to sit next to someone means they\u2019d like to keep you around for a while.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you have a sitting disability, you often hover awkwardly at the periphery of these little human dramas, if you are invited to participate at all. You exist outside the framework. No one knows what to do with you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Going to movies isn\u2019t something I do with friends anymore. It can\u2019t be a social activity when I\u2019m shuttled off to the aisle, or into the wheelchair seat. I\u2019m not well-situated to hear snide comments. No one wants to sit next to me, let alone behind me. And I don\u2019t much like spending two hours standing on the cement floor, wondering what it would take for me to get a cupholder.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At restaurants, bar-height tables are my salvation. I can actually join the conversation that usually takes place around my navel. Bar-height tables mean that I can order hot soup, or a sandwich that requires two hands.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"This
The Metropolitan Museum of Art<\/a> is filled with priceless works of art and objects of ineffable beauty. And my favorite piece was…a couch. Go figure.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Office work is often an unsolveable puzzle, since there are expectations of conformity and fairness. You get a cubicle (or less, if your company has one of those horrible open office plans), and the dividers are the same height for everyone. You get a desk, and a chair, and please don\u2019t be precious by asking for something more to your liking. If there is an ergonomics expert on hand, your life may be a little easier. But you are still not encouraged to order off-the-menu of options.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Conference rooms are usually arranged around a central table, and noticeably lack places to stand. Once, when my company reserved a hotel room for a day-long meeting, I requested a lectern be placed by the table in lieu of a chair. It didn\u2019t seem optional. I needed to type, and I couldn\u2019t think of any other way to manage it. Though everyone involved understood the reasons, I inadvertently and unavoidably sent a signal that I was trying to place myself above my senior coworkers. I spent the whole time literally talking over my colleagues\u2019 heads.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Getting to and from anywhere is a conundrum if you want to go any way but seated. Caplan is dead now, but I can\u2019t imagine any living designer with a working butt would be keen to heap praises upon the bucket seats that are an inescapable feature of cars and airplanes. I have come to think that the homeless people who spread themselves out across subway benches have the right idea.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When a Chair Isn\u2019t Really a Chair<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Chairs have had some philosophical significance at least since Plato<\/a> started thinking about a chair so perfect it would embody the whole idea of chair-ness. Since that time, the idea of a chair has been siphoned off into other areas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As Caplan points out, chairs have infiltrated into seemingly unrelated concepts, like \u201cchairman\u201d or \u201csitting judge.\u201d If you are invited to join a decision-making group, you are given a seat at the table. You sit up and take notice of the violist who plays first chair. A good discovery means you are sitting on a gold mine. Sitting pretty, as it were.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But what happens, I wonder, when the sitting judge can\u2019t take a seat? When the violinist eschews her deserved place or the chairman insists on a lectern? Can we stand as pretty as we sit? Can we recline on top of our gold mine? Or would this shock the system?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If standing on my hands sounds uncomfortable, at least I can stand back until I\u2019ve got it sorted out.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The thing that often gets lost in the discussion of sitting disabilities is just how socially meaningful and culturally ingrained the act of sitting is.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":367,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[19],"tags":[73,74,75],"class_list":["post-366","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-sitting-disabilities","tag-chairs","tag-ralph-caplan","tag-social-implications-of-sitting","post-archive"],"yoast_head":"\nNo Thanks, I\u2019d Rather Stand. 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